A Kiss, a Touch, a Goodbye
by NipponOtaku
Summary: Even though Kaito and Len have a very strong relationship, Len feels lonely because of Kaito's frequent absences while he's on tour. What'll happen between them? Yaoi; Kaito and Len fluffiness.
1. Chapter 1

**Note: **_This is my first fanfiction ^^ I know this first chapter is very short, but the next chapters will be longer ;D Enjoy ~~ _

**Chapter One**

I stared into the mirror, sighing as I looked at my reflection. My blonde hair was perfectly spiked with gel and makeup covered my seemingly flawless face. However, it was obvious by the look in my bright, blue eyes that something was missing from this picture. Or rather, someone.

I looked at the photograph taped in the corner of my vanity mirror and sighed. The man in the photo was tall, slim, and had beautiful navy blue eyes; he was the kind of guy anyone would fall for. I felt myself smiling as I remembered that this handsome man was all mine, but on the inside I felt a deep longing for him. Worse than I had ever felt before.

Sighing once again, I took the photograph of the man I loved and placed it against my lips.

"Kaito…"

I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. As I opened my mouth to mutter "ugh," I could smell alcohol on my breath. Waking up in this situation wasn't uncommon for me, but I was glad to wake up in my own apartment for once.

_What the hell happened last night?_ I thought to myself. I ran my fingers through my now greasy hair and faintly remembered my friend, Meiko, dragging me to her favourite bar after our gig the night before.

"Dammit, Meiko," I chuckled to myself, rolling over in an attempt to fall back asleep.

A few hours and a couple painkillers later, I finally felt decent enough to get out of bed. Just as I had risen up, however, my doorbell rang.

_Who would visit me at this time of day? _I shuffled along toward the door, not particularly excited to see who was there. But when I opened the door, I barely had time to shout "Kaito!" before the man standing outside pulled me into a deep kiss.


	2. Chapter 2

Kaito and I stood there in each other's arms for what seemed like an eternity. I buried my head into his chest and I felt his lips pressing lightly against my forehead. Tears began to form in my eyes, and I realized how much I had missed Kaito. The past five weeks had been a living hell for me.

"I've missed you so much, Len," Kaito spoke up suddenly, grabbing my hand and pulling me back into my apartment.

"Me too." I glanced up at Kaito to see him grinning at me.

"You were with Meiko last night, weren't you?"

"H-how can you tell?" Before Kaito could answer me, I raced over to the nearest mirror and gasped at the mess I saw in my reflection. My greasy hair was matted to my forehead, I had dark shadows under my eyes, and worst of all, I had greeted Kaito in my boxers.

"Oh my god! I'm sorry I look like such a mess."

"Don't worry about it," Kaito said with a sympathetic smile on his face. "You don't have to get all prettied up for me."

I smiled weakly at Kaito, blushing. He always knew how to make me feel less self-conscious about myself. Kaito walked over and stood behind me so both of us could be seen in the mirror. Placing both hands on my bare torso, he kissed me on the cheek and whispered into my ear.

"I love you."

...

Not wanting to feel gross any longer, I stepped into the shower to wash the grease and leftover gel out of my hair. The water flowing through my hair and down my body felt refreshing.

I must've been standing there for quite a long time because I suddenly heard Kaito's voice on the other side of the bathroom door.

"Len, are you okay?"

"Ah, yeah! I'll be out in a minute." I finished shampooing my hair and rushed out of the bathroom wearing only a towel. I walked into my bedroom to find Kaito sitting on my bed, slipping his shirt off.

"What are you doing?" I asked, surprised. Kaito looked up at me, grinning.

"I'm just getting comfy," he said. However, from the smirk on his face, I could tell he wasn't removing his shirt just for comfort.

Sighing, I grabbed a t-shirt and skinny jeans out of my dresser. I slipped the t-shirt on, but before I could finish, Kaito spoke up.

"Don't bother with the jeans."

I stared at him wide-eyed. "Wh-what?"

Kaito stood up without saying a word and walked toward me. I stood there motionless and Kaito reached for my waist and slowly undid the towel that was tied there. Following Kaito's cue, I slid out of the t-shirt that I had just put on as he put his hands around my bare waist. I felt Kaito's hands moving slowly downward as he bent closer to the ground...

...

I laid underneath Kaito, panting. I could hear both of our heartbeats still beating extremely fast. Kaito shifted his position above me as I laid my head down on my pillow, sighing.

"Kaito, that was really good."

He didn't say a word, but instead leaned in and kissed me. I moved my hands onto his shoulders while he moved his body closer to mine.

It was moments like these that made me feel lucky to have Kaito in my life. He wasn't the kind of guy who used his partner solely for the purpose of sex. Yeah, I guess the sex was still an important part of our relationship, but it wasn't at the top of our list of priorities.

Kaito pulled away slowly and rolled over onto his side, closing his eyes.

"You're going to sleep already?"

"I'm tired."

I glanced over at my clock. "It's only three in the afternoon," I giggled.

The only response from Kaito I got was a mere mumble. Smiling, l reached over and stroked his hair as he drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

After I was certain Kaito had drifted off to sleep, I decided to get out of bed. I slipped on the t-shirt and skinny jeans I had planned to put on earlier and headed into the kitchen. Not soon after I had leaned against my counter, my phone rang, its screen showing a familiar number. I answered it with a smile on my face.

"Hi, Rin."

...

"See you later, Kaito." I knew he was only half asleep and probably wouldn't remember my leaving when he woke up. However, I kissed him on the forehead and headed out of my apartment.

I walked down the crowded street with a giant grin on my face, thinking of all the fun I was going to have tonight. My best friend, Rin, had called to inform me that the owner of the local karaoke bar wanted us to perform there tonight, and for a hefty sum of money. But that wasn't even the best part; Rin had invited a whole bunch of our friends to come and watch us perform. There was nothing I found more exciting than performing in front my friends.

Soon after, I walked into the bar to find my friends crowded around one table. "Len!" they all seemed to shout in unison. Blushing, I walked over to greet them. Before I could continue, however, I heard a much higher voice shout my name. I turned around to see Rin rushing toward me, and I pulled her into my arms. I'd been friends with Rin since childhood, and with our uncanny similarities, most people thought we were twins.

"Len, I'm so excited for our gig tonight!" she said, practically bouncing on the spot.

"Me too."

Before I could say more, I noticed somebody who I didn't recognize walking toward us. She was skinny with medium length hair and wore a tight, black and white outfit. Her eyes were a piercing turquoise colour which went well with her fair skin, and she was...checking me out? Her eyes bounced up to meet mine and she grinned. AH! I looked back at Rin; I knew she wouldn't try to pull anything on me.

"Oh, Len, I have to introduce someone to you!" Rin said, pointing to the mysterious girl who was now standing beside Rin and I. "This is-"

However, Rin was interrupted by the barkeeper's shouting.

"Rin, Len, get your butts up there!"

We ran up to the stage, leaving the girl standing there. Rin looked back at her with an apologetic look, but we continued up the stairs to the stage.

Grabbing a microphone, I began our introduction.

"Good evening, everyone! For those of you who don't know, we're Len and Rin, and we're here to sing a couple of songs for you." The crowd wasn't very large, consisting mostly of the locals and my group of friends, but everyone cheered for us anyway.

The music started playing and we began to sing, the sound of Rin and I's voices filled my ears. I could feel my vocal chords vibrating, my breath passing through my lips. There was rarely anything that made me feel better than this.

I studied the crowd as I sang. It was something I did each time I performed, and I wasn't sure why. I looked over at the table where all my friends were crowded. Gakupo had his arms around Luka, Gumi was twirling her hair and Meiko was taking in her sake faster than most people would be able to. I smiled slightly, happy to see this familiar sight. However, my smile faded when I saw the strange girl from before sitting down at the table. She turned her head and stared right at me with her piercing eyes. I looked away as my voice cracked with nervousness. I belted out the following notes, hoping nobody would notice my minor mistake.

The song finished and Rin and I bowed, holding hands while the crowd applauded. A rush of mixed emotions ran through me. I was excited the same way I usually was when I performed, but it felt like that mysterious girl was toying with my emotions.

We had a short break before the next song, so I headed to the bathroom to calm down; I could feel my face turning bright red. I splashed water on my face, feeling it trickling down my face and neck. That felt a lot better.

"Hi, Len."

In my moment of relaxation, I hadn't heard somebody else walk into the bathroom. I let out a surprised squeal as I saw that it was...

_Oh my god, _I thought to myself as I realized the strange girl who was staring at me wasn't actually a girl. At a closer glance, I could see his shoulders were too broad to belong to a female, and he stood ever so slightly taller than me. There was an awkward silence as I stood there, still surprised with my mouth gaping open. The guy snickered, raising one eyebrow slightly.

"Struck speechless by my charmingly good looks, eh?"

"Ah, no! I-"

"I'm just kidding," he said, snickering. He held out a hand to introduce himself. "I'm Utatane Piko."

"Uh...hi," I said, shaking his hand nervously. I was surprised that he'd actually introduced himself instead of staring at me with those turquoise eyes. There was another awkward silence as I slipped my hand away from his.

"Well I suppose you'd better get back out there for your next song," Piko said suddenly, smiling at me and walking out of the bathroom. All I could do was stand there.

_Sigh._


	4. Chapter 4

Later that night, I stumbled up the stairs to my apartment. With my legs feeling like jelly, it took ages just to reach the first storey where my apartment was located. I reached the door and stumbled with my keys for several minutes, my fingers slipping and my vision blurry. Once I had finally stepped inside, the lights I had left on hit my eyes like bullets. Dizzy and stumbling, I brought my hand up to my face, which was hot and sweaty.

I slumped into a chair, sighing. My head was buzzing and it was like the force of gravity wouldn't stop pulling down on my eyelids. I rested my head on my hand and closed my eyes.

"Len, there you are!"

I opened my eyes just a sliver to see Kaito standing in the doorway of my bedroom.

"Wah...?" I mumbled, a goofy smile spreading uncontrollably across my face; however, my smile faded when my eyes focused on Kaito's frown. It was silent for a minute, then Kaito spoke up suddenly.

"This happens every goddamned time I visit," he said sighing. "And you're not even the legal drinking age yet."

There was silence once again as Kaito walked toward me, holding out a hand. I grabbed it and he pulled me into a hug.

"I just want to spend one night with you when you're not drunk out of your mind."

"Kaito...I'm sorry." I felt the muscles in my face straining and tears began to form in my eyes. In between sobs, I kept apologizing over again. It was true that I tended to get drunk on a regular basis, but I didn't have the heart to tell Kaito that his frequent absence was the reason for it.

I hadn't meant to start crying (it was probably the alcohol toying with my emotions) but I held tight onto Kaito until I'd cried myself dry.

Hiccoughing slightly, I looked up at Kaito. He had a sympathetic look on his face, but I could tell he was still a little frustrated with me. I hugged him tightly once again before we both headed off to bed.

...

I couldn't sleep.

If alcohol was supposed to restrict blood flow, how come I was laying here with a raging boner? I couldn't seem to make it go away; even thinking of dead kittens wouldn't settle it down.

I leaned over and saw Kaito laying perfectly still, but I knew he was still awake.

I had to get rid of the monster that was raging inside my boxers. Staring at the bathroom door, I realized I wouldn't be able to go in there―I made far too much noise to be able to do it discreetly. I decided there was only one thing to do.

"Kaito, I can't sleep."

"Neither can I, but you don't see me complaining." Kaito's tone of voice suggested that he was still a little frustrated, but I continued anyways.

"I wanna apologize again," I said, rolling over and pressing my body against his. I was well aware that he could feel my boner against his lower back, but I went along with my plan anyways. "I promise to stop drinking so frequently, especially when you're here."

"Len, I know what you're trying to do," Kaito said firmly. "I'm still mad at you."

Ignoring Kaito's previous words, I slid my hand around his waist. I stroked him ever so slightly, and I soon felt him getting excited.

"Len...stop it," Kaito said, but his sighs made it obvious that he was enjoying this. I slid my hand under the waistband of his boxers, stroking faster and increasing pressure before climbing up on top of him. I positioned myself so I was laying in between his legs, then I leaned in and kissed him. As we kissed deeper, I began to grind my waist instinctively against his. Our breathing became heavier, the grinding becoming faster. The feeling of excitement in my middle body spread all throughout, until I couldn't hold it in any longer. With a deep inhale and one final push against Kaito, I reached my climax. I thought I had come way too soon, until Kaito did the same a few seconds after, still grinding against me.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" I asked in between deep breaths. I rested my head on Kaito's chest, a feeling of relaxation spreading through me.

"I'm still mad at you," he said, his chest moving up and down with every breath.

"I know." I rolled back over so I was laying beside Kaito once again. I took off my boxers and threw them on the floor, and Kaito did the same. It looked like I was going to have to wash them in the morning.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, I barely had time was open my eyes before I realized how hungover I was; a migraine pounded in the back of my head and my stomach was churning violently. I rolled over on my side, only to be greeted by a strange, yet familiar feeling in my abdomen. Having only a few seconds to spare, I leaped out of bed and sprinted toward the bathroom...

"Len, are you okay in there?" I heard Kaito ask as he knocked on the door. Before I could say a word, my stomach contracted, sending its contents into the toilet bowl.

"Not really," I answered, coughing as my throat burned. "I'm sick."

Kaito entered the bathroom just as my insides contracted again. From the corner of my eye, I saw him flinch at the sight of me retching into the toilet bowl.

"Kaito, you don't have to be in here," I said in between hiccoughs. "I think I'll be fine."

"Okay," he said, still looking a little unsteady. "Just shout if you need anything."

As Kaito walked out, I slumped down onto the cold tile of the bathroom floor. _I'm never drinking again,_ I thought to myself.

...

_Meanwhile, on the other side of the district, the young man with silvery hair laid there deep in thought. He couldn't stop thinking about the night before, meeting new friends, being absorbed in the music. But the one thing he couldn't get off his mind was the feeling of the cute, blond guy's lips meeting his..._

Oh, who am I kidding?_ Piko thought to himself. He was excited to have finally found someone who played on his side of the fence too, but the blond guy was whacked out of his mind the night before; there was no way he'd remember their kiss._

_Piko reached over to his nightstand and grabbed the piece of paper that had a phone number scribbled on it. It belonged to the cute guy, and the note written in messy handwriting read:_

03-6743-8623

Call me ;D

― Len

...

It was nearly six o'clock pm before I finally felt well enough to eat something. My mouth watered at the scent of the meal that Kaito had cooked after returning from grocery shopping (apparently my food didn't suit his taste.) I walked into the kitchen to see that Kaito had prepared some simple, yet delicious teriyaki.

"Hey," Kaito said as I walked in. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, but tired." I walked over and looked him in his navy blue eyes. "Are you still mad at me?"

"No," he said, with a smile on his face. "I think you've learned your lesson."

I giggled slightly, but was distracted by the food on the table. I had no energy left from barfing all day and my stomach was growling loudly with hunger. "Let's eat."

After supper, Kaito and I were cuddling on the couch when my phone rang. The caller ID was unfamiliar, but I answered it anyways.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Len, it's Piko." I was silent for a bit, so Piko spoke up again. "You remember who I am, right?"

"Yeah." Why would Piko want to call me? All I could remember about him was his scary glare and his uncanny feminine appearance.

"Good," he said, with a happy tone in his voice. "So, do you wanna hang out or something...?"

"Wh-what?"

"I dunno where, maybe we could go see a movie..." I had no idea what to say. I was too nice of a person to reject him, but I felt really uncertain about saying yes.

"Sure."

"Okay, so tomorrow at the theater at five?"

"That's fine."

Piko hung up and I stared at my phone, wondering what I'd just agreed to. I had no memory of us actually talking the night before, except for when he flirted with me in the bathroom. What had I gotten myself into?

"Who was that?" Kaito asked. I put a lot of thought into my answer before I spoke.

"Just a friend I met last night."


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up the next morning to see Kaito sitting on the edge of my bed with a grim look on his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked, grabbing his hand. It felt cold compared to mine, and he left his hand limp.

"I got called back to Osaka." My heart sank instantly when Kaito spoke. He was supposed to stay here with me for at least a couple of months before heading back out west. I sat up and pulled him into a hug, my eyes tearing up and a heartbroken feeling spreading through me. I couldn't stand to be away from him again, not after the long time we'd spent apart before.

"I'm sorry, Len," Kaito said, his voice cracking as he started to cry. I had never actually seen him cry like this before. I ran my fingers through his hair, hoping to somewhat comfort him.

"How long will you be gone for?"

"Three weeks." No. I couldn't stand another three weeks alone. I hated how most of my nights were spent by myself, and when Kaito was gone, there was no one to wake up to in the morning. Sighing, I rested my head on Kaito's chest and began to cry along with him. We sat there for a long time until Kaito stood up suddenly, surprising me.

"I should probably leave before I miss my flight." Kaito leaned in and kissed me before saying, "I love you."

"I love you too," I said softly, making sure to look him in the eye as I said it. With a final kiss on the cheek, Kaito grabbed his suitcase and walked out, looking back at me one last time before he left. I sat on my bed, silent and still for what seemed like forever. My heart thumped loudly inside me and my head ached from all the crying I'd just done. Falling back onto my pillow, I felt more tears leaking out of my eyes. My little whimpers eventually turned into full-blown sobs as I pulled my knees up to my chest. How was I supposed to survive like this?

A while later, after I'd gotten out of bed and went through my usual morning routine, I entered the kitchen. Looking at the leftover teriyaki Kaito had left on the counter, the sinking feeling in my heart returned once again as I realized I wouldn't have the luxury of Kaito's cooking while he was gone. Eating the leftovers, I saw that Kaito had left his favourite blue scarf on one of the kitchen chairs. Pulling it close to my face, I inhaled deeply, recognizing his aroma. I started to cry once again as I ran the soft fabric through my fingers.

…

_Piko laid there, his heart pounding, his palms sweaty. Only one thing was on his mind, and that was the blond-haired boy named Len. Twirling his silvery hair, he sighed, realizing how nervous he was about meeting Len at the movies that afternoon. But what if Len wasn't interested in him? What if he got stood up? _Ah, I'm overreacting, _Piko thought as he flopped down on his couch. He needed to stop thinking "what if" and start looking at the positives of the situation. Staring at a spot on the ceiling, Piko realized this was his chance to finally find somebody after moving into this new neighbourhood. The only person who he'd known when he moved here was Rin, and only because of their musical connections in the past. Besides, Rin wasn't exactly the gender that Piko preferred…_

_Glancing over at the clock, Piko saw he still had two more hours left. _What am I supposed to do 'til then? _He couldn't wait that long, not when he was this excited, and when a few minutes felt like an hour to him. This next little bit was going to be painful for Piko. _

...

The time finally arrived. I left at quarter to five to give myself fifteen minutes to walk to the theatre. Rushing down the street faster than everyone else, I noticed the little nervousness I had before was rising and I started breaking in a sweat. I arrived at the theatre quicker than I expected, and stood awkwardly at the entrance. The giant digital clock across the street read 16:53. So, I still had time before I expected Piko to show up. I leaned against the nearby wall and closed my eyes, thinking of Kaito. Would he be mad at me for doing this? I was worried that Piko might try to pull something on me. However, I would never go along with it, not when I was so dedicated to Kaito. I assured myself nothing was going to happen, and I wouldn't have any regrets about it.

"Hey, Len." I was startled by a loud voice almost shouting my name, and I opened my eyes to see Piko standing almost right in front of me. I hadn't remembered his voice being that loud and I was momentarily shocked.

"Hi," I said quietly. I looked at Piko's face, and right away I focused on his bright, turquoise eyes. Their colour looked so unreal I could almost swear he was wearing contacts; but at a closer look, I realized they were natural. However, as soon I had made eye contact with Piko, his eyes shifted towards his feet and he joined his hands together in front of him, interlocking his fingers. I could clearly remember him acting so confidently with me the other night… Was he as nervous about this whole thing as I was? "Well, let's go inside," I said, trying to act as casual as I could. I didn't want to seem nervous in front of Piko. He nodded, and followed me into the theatre, walking with small steps. I found it hard to not laugh at his behaviour; he was acting just like a nervous schoolgirl.

We bought our movie tickets, and made small talk during the previews. I noticed Piko talked with a slight accent, which made sense when he told me he used to live in a small city in Southern Japan before moving here to Tokyo. I could tell he was becoming less nervous as we talked, and so was I.

The movie started sooner than I expected, so Piko and I were quiet from then on. Every once in a while, I caught him glancing over at me, and when our elbows accidentally touched while attempting to share an armrest, he would pull away and mutter "sorry" as if he'd just made a huge mistake.

When the movie ended, I was planning to say goodbye and head back to my place when all of a sudden, Piko grabbed onto my hand and asked, "do you wanna come and see my apartment?"

"Yes." Oh dammit, I hadn't even really thought about Piko's question until after I'd answered. But I couldn't refuse now, I was too nice of a person to change my mind and say no. Piko lead me down the street, the opposite way of my apartment and we soon arrived in front of his apartment building. Stepping inside, I was amazed at how big his living space was; but I guessed that he was probably used to something the size of a house, being from a small city and all.

"Take a seat," Piko said, gesturing towards a large, leather couch. I sat down feeling a little awkward as Piko took a seat next to me. I was about to ask him how much his rent was (hey, this place looked freakin' sweet) until Piko suddenly tilted his head a bit to the right, leaned in, and kissed me. My heart sped up and immediately I thought of Kaito. This was so wrong, so very wrong. But I couldn't stop. My nerves were tingling and a rush of excitement shot through me, and I instinctively kissed Piko deeper. It wasn't until after we had stopped to gaze at each other in shock that I realized I hadn't hesitated at all.


	7. Chapter 7

I sat there staring at Piko, my eyes wide and my mouth gaping open. Exhaling, I realized I'd been holding my breath. My heart raced as nervousness started to build up inside me. I knew perfectly well that what I'd just done was wrong...but why didn't I feel as guilty as I should've? Shouldn't I have felt bad about betraying Kaito? I had to tell Piko about Kaito before anything else like this happened.

"Um, Piko..." I started to say.

"Len, I'm sorry," Piko interrupted, bowing his head in apology. "I shouldn't have done that." He lifted his head back up, but his eyes were focused on the floor instead of me.

"There's something I should tell you," I said as Piko shifted his eyes up in curiosity. "I...I have a boyfriend."

"Oh." It was clear Piko was interested in me and I felt like I'd just let him down. Closing my eyes, I thought of Kaito. I loved him to pieces, but what my time spent with him even worth it anymore? His multiple weeks-long absences always left me feeling heartbroken and alone. Plus, when he was here, what was there to look forward to? Just some small talk and a couple hours of sex? I sighed, coming to an important realization.

"But I don't know how well it's working out between us," I added. Tears formed in my eyes as I came to the conclusion that maybe our relationship wasn't going so well anymore. Piko placed his hand on my shoulder in comfort as I began to cry. I'd been crying too much lately, but I didn't want to let Kaito go. But if things continued the way they were...ah, I didn't want to think about it. I pulled Piko into a hug, crossing my arms tightly around his back as I continued to cry. I felt his arms slide around my waist and he rested his chin on my shoulder. The guilt I'd had before eased away and my heart was beating back at its normal pace. I still felt a little bad, but being held inside Piko's arms...it was unfamiliar, but it comforted me.

Eventually, I calmed down, but Piko and I continued to hold onto each other. His warm hands against my waist, his soft breath against my neck...I hadn't had the experience of enjoying a moment quite like this in a long time. I heard Piko's nervous heartbeat through the pulsing in his neck. Pulling my head back and glancing sideways, I saw that he was red in the face. The confident Piko I had met a couple of nights ago seemed to have changed suddenly.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Mhmm," Piko muttered, nodding his head quickly and blushing a little bit more. Was he trying to be cute on purpose? The way his cheeks were becoming rosy, his sudden quietness, the little smile on his face; it was all irresistible. Leaning in toward Piko, I took his hand into my own, and looked into his turquoise eyes one last time before closing mine.

When our lips met this time, I felt the same nerve tingling feeling as before, the same rush of excitement. But something was different. We kissed with more passion and most of my regretful feelings had disappeared; plus, I couldn't stop. The feeling of Piko's soft lips on mine was driving me crazy. Caressing each other's bodies, we began to breathe in unison. These feelings were almost intoxicating, taking over my common sense. It wasn't until that I felt that excited feeling in my boxers that I pulled away.

Crossing my legs to hide my awkward bulge, I took my hand away from Piko's and wiped my bangs off of my sweaty forehead. I'd gotten excited too soon, foo fast and as I sighed, I hoped Piko hadn't noticed. I was about to mention to him that this whole thing was going too fast, but he spoke before me.

"That was even better than the other night," Piko said, grinning.

"Huh? The other night?"

"Oh, well I figured you wouldn't remember, but yeah, you kissed me at the bar."

I sat there in silence, not believing what Piko had just said. I knew I had been drunk, but I never thought I would've kissed someone without remembering.

"Piko, I'm sorry, I was drunk..."

"It's fine," he replied with a smile on his face. "I should've known you wouldn't have remembered." He pulled me closer to him, and placing his hand on my shoulder, locked lips with me once again.

...

Piko laid below me on his bed, his bright eyes staring into mine. I could tell he was nervous, and so was I, but we were both enjoying this moment together. Pressing myself closer to him, I looked deep into his eyes.

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah."

Shifting my position above Piko slightly, I pushed, entering him. He cried out in pain, but as I began to thrust, his cries were replaced by moans of pleasure. I couldn't believe I was doing this. I'd started to think of Kaito again, how angry he would be if he found out what I was doing. Too many emotions were running through me. But as I began to sweat and my heartbeat sped up, my physical feelings took over my emotional ones. My breathing became faster and deeper as I increased the speed of my thrusting. Piko moaned below me, throwing his head back and gripping tightly onto his blanket. Inhaling deeply, I finished off with one last thrust, my arms weakening. I collapsed onto Piko, feeling his warm, bare chest against mine. Piko placed his hands onto my back and sighed as we laid there embraced in each other's arms, breathing in unison, until I removed myself from Piko's grasp.

"I should probably head home now," I said, sitting up on Piko's bed. I felt bad for wanting to leave so soon, but I wanted to go back to my apartment and sort out some emotional things. I looked down to see Piko laying beside me with an arm behind his head.

"Already?" Piko glanced at me with sad eyes; he clearly wanted me to stay longer. "You could spend the night, if you wanna..." I smiled at Piko and reached down to grab to hand. Though I'd only spent a few hours with him, the way he looked at me with those bright turquoise eyes made me realize it wouldn't hurt to stay just one night.

"Okay."


	8. Chapter 8

_**Note: I apologize for the late update. It's the end of the school year over here and I've been busy with Course Culminating Assignments. But now that it's almost summer vacation, there's much more to come! **_

* * *

><p>The next morning arrived far too quickly.<p>

I lay perfectly still as I woke up. My mind was conscious but my eyes didn't open; I knew that if I opened them I would see that I hadn't woken up in my own bed, or that the person still sleeping beside me wasn't who I was supposed to wake up with. What had I done? I was foolish for letting my hormones take control over my mind the previous night. Soft, inhaling sounds came from beside me and I realized Piko's arm was spread across my chest, but I kept my eyes closed. It was as if laying here with my eyes squinted shut would somehow hide the shocking reality of this situation.

_I'd cheated on Kaito. _My eyelids separated as those words ran through my mind. Staring blankly toward the ceiling, I couldn't help feeling the worst of regretful emotions spread throughout me. Piko breathed quietly beside me, still sleeping. From my point of view, he seemed pretty lucky; he didn't have to deal with cheating on his loved one. Kaito had just left the day before and already I felt like I'd betrayed him, even abandoned him. Exhaling, I placed my hand on my forehead as too many thoughts rushed through my mind. I felt a familiar straining sensation in my eyes, but stopped myself from crying; I'd done too much of that in the previous few days.

"Good morning." During my little emotional moment, I hadn't noticed that Piko had woken up too. His voice sounded tired, but looking at him I saw that a smile had spread across the lower half of his face. I returned a smile, though I had to force it. Piko moved closer to me, snuggling into my arm and running his fingers along my bare chest. The feeling of his nails moving lightly across my skin excited me instantly, but I closed my eyes and inhaled before grabbing Piko's hand and lifting it away from my chest.

"What?" Piko asked, cocking his head to the side.

"We need to talk."

I explained my whole situation to Piko, how I'd cheated on my boyfriend and how I had made a huge mistake by sleeping with him. I obviously belonged with Kaito, not Piko, who I'd met only a few days before. I couldn't take it any farther with him…I'd already caused enough damage.

"So, I don't think anything between us is going to work," I said, ending my explanation. The expression on Piko's face told that he was filled with heartbreak, but he didn't say a word. "I-I'm sorry," I added after a long silence.

"It's fine, I understand," Piko said as he broke eye contact with me, his face reddening. "But this Kaito guy…he's gone for three weeks, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, it's not like he has to find out about anything…" Piko glanced up at me for a second, his eyes filled with mischief, yet he was trying to look innocent at the same time. I was certain I couldn't do what he was suggesting, but he did have a point. Sure, I would feel bad, but would Kaito ever have to find out about what I had done with Piko? Laying my head back on my pillow, I couldn't believe I was actually reconsidering everything I'd said to Piko before. My mind started to spin, my thoughts becoming blurs. I couldn't think straight; why was I letting my emotions get to me like this?

"Fine. Three weeks."

Piko smiled, pulling himself closer to me as he entangled his legs with mine under the blankets and kissed me lightly on the cheek. "Thanks," he said, resting his head on my chest and drifting back to sleep. What was I getting myself into?

…

I spent most of the following three weeks at Piko's apartment, becoming increasingly nervous as I counted down the days until Kaito was supposed to return. Though mine and Piko's nights together were filled with the fieriest passion I'd ever experienced, I always felt terrible anytime I wasn't being held in Piko's embrace. It was like whenever he and I were in each other's arms, the hormones and emotions inside me distracted me from Kaito and what I was doing to him.

One morning, a few days before I was expecting Kaito's return, I woke up to my phone buzzing on my nightstand. I reached over to see who'd sent me a message, expecting it to be someone like Rin or Meiko. But instead, as I flipped my phone open, I gasped at what I saw.

_Came back a few days early, leaving the airport now. See you soon._

_-Kaito_

Oh shit. I only had about half an hour until Kaito would return and it didn't help that Piko was sprawled out on my bed, tangled in the sheets. I had to get him out of here.

"Piko! Wake up."

"Mnnn," Piko mumbled, rolling over onto his side so his back was facing me. In the last three weeks, I'd learned that he wasn't at all a morning person; waking him up would be a struggle.

"My boyfriend just texted me, he's going to be here in half an hour." My voice was firm and my heartbeat sped up with urgency. "You need to get out of here." Piko rolled over, now awake, his eyes wide with surprise.

"Seriously?" he asked, looking almost as nervous as I was. I nodded and flung the bed sheets off of both of us, starting to gather up Piko's various belongings that had begun to accumulate in my apartment. I really didn't want to just kick him out like this, but if I wanted to keep Kaito happy... I glanced over at Piko as he slipped on his clothes from the day before (in the height of our passion the previous night, he hadn't remembered to bring a change of clothes over) and saw a look of disappointment on his face.

"Hey, Piko, I'm sorry for kicking you out like this but..."

"I understand." He smiled at me, but I couldn't tell if he really meant it. As he gathered up the last of his things into a pile on my bed, he walked over and placed both hands on my face, kissing me. The kiss felt too rough, almost as if Piko was angry at me, but I instinctively pulled myself into his embrace. Pulling away soon after, he gave me one last look in the eye before grabbing his belongings and heading out of my bedroom.

"I'll miss you."

I didn't have time to say 'I'll miss you too' before I heard a _slam _come from the door that led out of my apartment. Piko was mad at me, and I felt horrible for just kicking him out, but I'd done what'd had to be done. If Kaito found out about Piko, he'd be unbelievably mad.

…

_Piko was pissed off. He knew that he'd only had a limited time to spend with Len, but something about the way he'd just been kicked out of Len's apartment set something off inside him. Wiping a tear from his eye, Piko walked down the street angrily, his eyes set on the ground and his face on fire. He sniffled, starting to cry as he rushed past people on the sidewalk. Reaching his apartment, he pushed open the door and immediately slumped onto his leather couch, the place where he and Len had had their first kiss together. Piko reminisced in the few, but amazing memories the two of them had made in the past couple weeks. Though he was aware his and Len's relationship wouldn't have lasted long, he still didn't want it to be over. Spending his time with Len was the most fun he'd had in such a long time, the most comfortable he'd felt after moving to Tokyo; why did it have to end so soon? They hadn't even given each other proper goodbyes… _

_Piko sighed, laying his head on the couch's armrest. It was no use fussing over this now; what'd happened had happened, it was over now. He could handle not seeing Len anymore, he could easily search around this gigantic city and find another decent guy who played on Piko's side of the fence. _Yeah, I can just do that _Piko thought. He hadn't been particularly clingy in relationships in the past, so was there even a reason to cling onto Len? Sure, he had perfect blond hair, stunning blue eyes, but he was taken already; and Piko couldn't do anything about that. He rolled onto his stomach, pressing his face into a pillow as began to cry. He knew he was attached to Len and it was going to take a long time to get over it. Sobbing, Piko pulled his knees up to his chest and lay there, letting all of his emotions and feelings out through his tears._

…

Kaito arrived right on time, like he always did. As I heard the keys jingling outside the door and the slow turning of the doorknob, my heart began racing; partly from excitement, but I was nervous. Would I able to face Kaito like normally or even be able to look him in the eye? So much guilt ran through me as the door opened, revealing Kaito's tall, slim figure. Staring nervously at his navy blue eyes, I watched as he smiled at me.

"Hey, Len." He walked over, pulling me into a hug. The feeling of his hug was familiar but it felt so strange now. I didn't say a word as he kissed me on the forehead and placed his arms around my waist, dropping his suitcase. "I've missed you a lot."

"Mm," I mumbled, nodding my head. I had no idea what to say. It was like all this guilt that had built up inside of me wasn't letting me speak. Kaito must've sensed that something was wrong because he suddenly pulled away and looked into my eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said quietly. Kaito smiled, seeming to think that nothing was wrong. I was glad; he didn't suspect a thing.


	9. Chapter 9

I spent the rest of the day listening to Kaito talk about his tour in Osaka, only adding in the occasional "yeah" or "mhmm". He never talked much about his career so I should've been excited to hear about it; however, I felt like I couldn't talk to Kaito normally and I could barely look him in the eye. I felt too guilty.

Kaito didn't seem to notice that something was wrong. He continued on like always, not seeing how silent I was or my inability to look him in the eye. In the few hours since Kaito had arrived, I'd almost broken down crying so many times and forced myself not to just so he wouldn't suspect anything. The sinking feeling in my heart got worse as the day went on; I didn't know how much more I could take.

It wasn't until later when Kaito tried to have sex with me that the regretful feeling inside me reached its peak. As Kaito threw me back onto the soft, springy mattress, I prayed he wouldn't notice that the way my sheets were ruffled showed that somebody else had been lying there the night before. My nerves tingled as Kaito kissed me and I became excited when I felt his hand between my thighs, but unlike usual, my physical feelings couldn't outweigh my emotional ones; my regret had grown that much. Even as Kaito began to unzip my bottoms, I still couldn't shake off any of the guilt. I thought about how much I would hurt Kaito if he found out that I'd cheated on him, or that I'd spent the last few weeks in the arms of another man…

"Kaito, stop."

"Why? You usually love this." He looked at me with wide, curious eyes as we both sat up and he put his arm around me. "Is something wrong?"

The tears flowed out of my eyes before I could stop them, coming out faster than I could control. "I…I'm sorry, Kaito," I said in between sobs. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" I wrapped my arms around Kaito's shoulders and buried my face into the crook of his neck.

"Len, what's wrong?" I heard Kaito say. I didn't answer, but instead kept crying on his shoulder, dreading the moment when I had to tell him what I'd done. "Tell me," Kaito whispered into my ear. "I want to know what's wrong." I stared into Kaito's navy eyes, my own hurting from crying. I heart raced as I took a deep breath; I couldn't take this anymore.

"I…I cheated on you."

Kaito was silent. Glancing up at his face, I couldn't read his emotions. He looked neither disappointed nor angry, just neutral, like he didn't know how to react. He looked over at me with emotionless eyes and I had no idea how to respond. We sat there, quiet, for a long time, neither of us making a sound.

After a long, awkward silence, Kaito sighed, shifting his position beside me slightly as he directed his eyes toward the floor and spoke in a voice that was ever so soft.

"Why?"

I had to think hard about my answer, but what was I supposed to say? 'Sorry, Kaito, but you were away and I was horny, so I decided to sleep with someone else'?

"It's hard to explain, I guess," I said, trying not to break down crying again. "It's just…when you're always gone for so long, it's hard to stay satisfied."

Kaito was quiet again. I could tell he was upset and he was thinking of what to say next.

"Did you even think once about me?"

"I did all the time!" I said, my voice shaky. "You were always on my mind and I really regret what I've d-"

"Len," Kaito interrupted. "Why would you do this to me?"

"I'm sorry, Kaito!" I practically yelled, my eyes filling with tears once again. "I know I made a really stupid decision a-and I wasn't thinking straight and…" I was then interrupted by Kaito rolling over and pinning me to the bed by my wrists, all in one swift motion. He hovered over top of me, fuming as he stared into my eyes. I was frightened; I'd never seen him this angry before. "Wh-what are you doing?" Kaito didn't say a thing as he leaned in and gave me a rough kiss. I tried to protest, but he tightened his grip and pressed harder against my face. I didn't like this. He bit down on my lip until the pain was unbearable and I could taste the coppery flavour of blood. Why was he doing this to me? _Stop, Kaito, stop! _I wanted to say, but I couldn't remove myself from Kaito's grasp to speak. He stopped biting and resumed kissing me, but my mouth was filling with blood and I could feel it dripping down the side of my face.

Kaito pulled away from my face and released his grip on my wrists. I sighed, thinking it was over until he started to slide my bottoms down my legs. "No, Kaito!" I shouted, but he wasn't listening. As soon as my pants were at my ankles, Kaito lifted me and began to flip me over. I tried to resist, but all of my squirming couldn't free me from his grasp. I was now lying on my stomach with my lower half fully exposed and I began to breathe nervously as I realised what was about to happen.

I heard the unzipping of Kaito's jeans and soon after, I felt him pressing against my backside. _Don't! _I wanted to shout, but it was too late. He forced his dick into me, and I felt a pain shoot throughout my body. _Ah! _I felt the need to yell out, but I was in shock and I couldn't seem to form any sounds. The pain inside me continued to get worse as Kaito began to thrust, placing his hands back onto my wrists to hold me in place. He was stretching me to my maximum; it felt like he was going to rip me in half.

I lifted my head up slightly, realising that a puddle of blood and tears had formed where my face had been pressed against the blanket. I heard Kaito above me sighing as he started to thrust faster, his grip on my wrists tightening until my hands were numb.

"Kaito! Please stop!"

"You hurt me…I think it's only fair if I get to hurt you…" he said in between sighs and deep breaths. "Oh god…" Just as the pain inside me became intolerable, Kaito thrust one last time and pulled out just as he climaxed. I felt him release himself all over my back as I began to sob. Kaito let go of my wrists and stood up, leaving me to lay there soaked in his sweat and semen, plus a new puddle of blood that hadn't come from the bite marks on my lips.

Kaito left after he'd finished with me. Grabbing his suitcase, he stormed out the door, not saying where he was going or if he'd be back. All I could do was curl up on my bed and cry as Kaito walked out the door. But I really didn't care if he returned or not; he'd violated me and for some reason, I was scared he'd do it again. Even as I stood there in the shower to wash off everything that Kaito had left on me, I couldn't stop sobbing and my heart wouldn't stop racing. For the first time in my life, I was actually frightened of the person I loved.

…

_Piko decided it was time to stop fussing over Len. He knew it was only a short-term fling, so why should he have been so attached? Besides, he never really felt like Len was very emotionally attached to him. Oh well; it was time to move on. Except… there was just one thing. In the last few weeks, Piko had gotten used to spending every night with Len, getting his certain 'needs' satisfied. Glancing toward his waist, Piko realised he wouldn't be getting any tonight. However, just as Piko slipped his hand below his belt to start relieving some emotional frustration, his phone buzzed in his pocket. _Who could that be?

_"Hello?"_

_ "Piko? It's Len." Piko was speechless. If Len's boyfriend had already returned then why was he calling him…? Piko must've been silent for a while because Len continued on. "Can I talk to you?" _


	10. Chapter 10

_I apologize greatly for the late update. m(_ _)m I think I shocked myself after what I did to poor Len in Chapter 9 and I had no idea what to write about after that. xD_

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><p>"Can I talk to you?" My voice came out a lot shakier than I'd expected. I held the phone up to my ear with my trembling hand as I sat there, still shocked at what Kaito had done to me. Bruises were forming on my wrists where he'd held them to pin me down and a pain still ached where he'd violated me. My heart sank each time I remembered the way his eyes had looked so cold when I'd confessed to him and how he didn't seem to show any emotion while doing all those horrible things to me.<p>

"Yeah, sure," I heard Piko say. "What's wrong?"

I told him everything. He listened to the whole story and even as I got to the gruesome details of what Kaito had done to me, he didn't cease once in trying to comfort me. My voice trembled the entire time I spoke and my hands wouldn't stop shaking. What was happening to me?

"Len, are you okay?" Piko asked once I'd gone silent.

"No." I wasn't okay. I'd just been violated and betrayed by the one person I loved; though, I wasn't quite sure if my feelings of "love" toward Kaito even existed anymore. How was I supposed to feel okay about it? Taking a deep, shaky breath, I realised I was starting to get teary-eyed. "Piko, I'm gonna go now. I'll call you when I'm in a better emotional state." I hung up before he could protest, and wiped the tears from my eyes. I wasn't going to do any more crying; it was time to stop breaking down each time I became upset.

Sighing, I walked over to my bed, removed the sheets that were stained in my blood and laid down onto the bare mattress. I closed my eyes and drifted off into a deep sleep; I'd become fatigued after my earlier experience.

…

I awoke several hours later to someone sitting next to me, lightly stroking my hair. I didn't open my eyes to see who it was since I was still half asleep.

"Piko…" I muttered, grabbing the hand that was resting on my head and bringing it next to my cheek so it was caressing my face. A smile formed on my face as my mood instantly lightened.

"Len? Who's Piko?" I opened my eyes to see that Kaito was the one who was with me on the bed. With a surprised "Ah!" I jumped up and ran to the other side of the room, standing in the doorway.

"K-Kaito! What are you doing here?" I could feel myself shaking; it was like I was frightened of him.

"I came to apologize," Kaito said his usual soft, calming voice. "I'm sorry for what I did to you."

"Apologize?" I laughed. "Do you really think 'sorry' is going to make me feel better about this?"

Kaito stood up and walked toward me, reaching to try and give me a hug. I back away and tried to resist, but he was too fast and he pulled me closer to him. "Please, Len, I'm really sorry."

"No you're not," I said, trying to wiggle free from the hug he had trapped me in. Glancing into his eyes, I saw that he did look like he regretted what he'd done, but I wasn't sure that I could say he was truly sorry. "Let me go."

"I really am sorry; can you forgive me?" Kaito looked at me with wide, pleading eyes. "Please?"

Kaito had a way of making that perfect facial expression that I couldn't resist, no matter the situation. The way his dark, navy eyes opened wide and had that sad look made it almost irresistible to not feel some sort of sympathy for him, and it didn't help that I had trouble saying "no" to anybody.

"…fine." I hung my head low and stared toward my feet. I almost regretted what I'd just said, but I felt like I should've given Kaito a second chance. "But if you mess it up this time, we're through," I mumbled, still looking at the floor.

"Understood. Thank you, Len," Kaito said, pulling me even closer and kissing me on my forehead. My hands, which had been hanging by my sides, made their way around Kaito's waist. I nuzzled my head into his chest and listened to his soft breathing and heartbeat. Even though I felt a bit awkward, I had to admit, I'd missed moments like these, but it was going to take a while to get used to them again.

"Len, you never really answered my question from before," Kaito spoke suddenly. "Who's Piko?"

I realised when I had told Kaito that I'd cheated on him, I hadn't exactly said who the person was. I debated for a moment on whether I should've told Kaito; however, I decided he would've probably figured it out anyway.

"He's the guy I cheated on you with." I continued to keep my eyes directed toward the floor. "I take it you're still mad at me…"

"A little bit," Kaito said, gripping my chin with one finger and pointing it upward so he was looking into my eyes. "But I know you're still mad at me, so it's fair. Besides, I was just curious." He smiled once before leaning in and kissing me. I usually enjoyed the familiar feeling of Kaito's soft kiss, but the fact that I was still upset with him bothered me; Kaito was enjoying himself, but I was having trouble trying to.

…

Later that night, I lay beside Kaito on the bed, unable to sleep. I'd expected him to try and pull something on me but he didn't; instead, he drifted off to sleep the moment his head hit the pillow. I watched him sleep, inhaling and exhaling slowly with a peaceful look on his face while his straight, blue bangs rested lightly on his forehead. Seeing how calm and innocent he looked, I couldn't believe the man I was staring at was the one who'd done all those hurtful things to me just hours before.

I laid there for ages watching Kaito sleep before eventually drifting off myself. I fell asleep with a smile on my face, knowing I was drifting off into my own little dream world, and not having to deal with reality anymore.


	11. Chapter 11

_Hello, all! This update is very late because I just started Grade 11 and the university level courses have hit me really hard. So, I haven't had a lot of free time or energy lately... But anyway, I finally wrote something and I thought I'd change it up a bit: this chapter's in Piko's point of view. Enjoy~_

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><p><strong>Piko<strong>

It was a chilly autumn evening and the light of the sunset spread across the sky like a giant, orange blanket, creating great shadows on the many skyscrapers surrounding me. The air was crisp and cold, and it rustled my hair with its light breeze. The thin jacket and scarf I was wearing were barely enough to keep me warm and my eyes watered from the cold air hitting them. I leaned on the edge of the balcony of my apartment, cradling my chin in the palm of my hand as I felt tears running down the side of my reddening face.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't the cold that made my eyes water. It had been months since I'd last seen or even talked to Len, and though our little affair only lasted a few weeks, I still missed him dearly. I'd never felt the same care from anyone other than Len, the same compassion... _What am I thinking? _I assumed he was back with that Kaito guy now, he'd probably forgotten all about me anyway... Though I was upset from being apart from Len, I was also angry because of the fact that he'd ignored every single text message and voicemail I'd sent him in the past few months. Was it really that hard to send a quick text or to take a minute to call me saying that he didn't want to see me anymore?

I wiped a tear from the corner of my eye with the sleeve of my jacket and sniffled. _Goddammit. _I hadn't meant to start crying, but I couldn't help myself. I stood on my balcony sobbing for a good five minutes, heaving and hiccoughing, before I could pull myself together. What had happened to me? I had never been this emotional before meeting Len and now it seemed that whenever I remembered him I felt like bursting into tears. I sniffled again and stared at the sunset. _It's just not fair _I thought to myself. The sun rose and set every day at regular intervals, with nothing to interfere with its cycle that had been the same for God knows how long. Why couldn't my life be the same?

I sighed, feeling the cold autumn air brush against my face, still wet from my tears. I had to stop fussing over all of this, but something still bothered me, something inside my mind that was refusing to be ignored. The last time I'd talked to Len, he'd called me asking if he could talk to me about something. I could still remember the shakiness in his voice, almost like he was nervous, even scared. I could sense something was wrong, but I never got the chance to find out what it was because the last words he said to me were "I'll call you back when I'm in a better emotional state". He never called back.

I pulled out my phone instinctively after thinking about it and stared at its screen for a moment. It probably wouldn't be worth it, but I had to try again just once... I dialed Len's number without even looking at the keyboard and held the phone up to my ear, waiting. The silence between my phone connecting to service and when it started ringing was painful. I waited, holding my breath as Len's phone rang, anxious even though I knew he wouldn't pick up. However, just as I became impatient and was about to hang up, I heard a faint voice come from my phone's speakers.

"Hi, Piko."

"Uh...hi." I was short on words, not knowing what to say; I hadn't actually expected Len to answer. There was a short, awkward silence before I spoke up again. "I'm sorry for calling you so often, I just wanted to talk some things throu-"

"Don't apologize," Len interrupted, in a stern but quiet voice. "I'm the one who should be sorry."

"Uh...huh?"

"I'm sorry for everything I've done to you in the past while. I didn't mean to drag you into this whole situation and I sure as hell didn't mean to ignore you after the last time we saw each other. It's just that Kaito hasn't left me alone this entire time and I haven't had any time alone to talk to you..." Len's voice trailed off into a barely audible whisper as he rushed through saying his last few words. Something sounded off.

"Len, are you okay?"

"Shh, be quiet," he whispered. "But don't hang up."

What was going on? I didn't have time to process any of Len's words before I heard a door slam open and a deep, tenor voice in the background say "Len, who are you talking to?"

"Uh...n-no one," Len stuttered, his voice louder but sounding farther away. He must've taken his phone away from his ear.

"Are you sure? I could've sworn I heard your phone going off a few minutes ago," the deep-voiced person said.

"I was just getting a text from Meiko," Len said with a bit a nervousness in his voice. I instantly froze as I realized I was eavesdropping on Len and Kaito's conversation. I didn't know anything about this Kaito guy or how he would react to Len talking to me but I clamped my hand over my mouth to silence any possible noise that I could've made. I couldn't mess this situation up any more.

"Then why were you talking?"

"Heh, well you know me, I talk to myself a lot..." Len said in what sounded like an attempt to joke around. But then he gasped before I heard shuffling noises like someone was grabbing Len's phone. "Kaito, give it back!" Len shouted, sounding like he was even farther away from it.

"Piko...03-6743-9501..." It sounded like Kaito was reading off of the screen of Len's phone. "Where do I know that name...?"

"It doesn't matter, just give me my phone back!" Len cried. I stopped breathing in an attempt to be silent. Kaito recognized my name from somewhere...was it possible Len had told him who I was? There was an awkward silence between them before Kaito said anything.

"Wait, is this...that person... Len, how could you?" The sound of Len's face being backhanded echoed through the phone, through my ears. I gasped in surprise, praying Kaito didn't hear me as I heard Len start sobbing in the background. I couldn't believe Len was putting up with this, that he'd given me up to continue being with this jerk... Just then, I was shocked by Kaito's deep voice speaking into Len's phone, right into my ear. "Piko-san, I don't know who you are or what business you have with my Len, but I suggest you stay away before I get involved in this."

I stayed silent, shocked by what Kaito had just said. I heard Len let out one last quiet sob before my phone went silent. I stood there stupefied at what I'd just witnessed, too shocked to remember I was still standing on my balcony, my fingers turning numb from the freezing cold. I'd been able to peer into Len's life without me and couldn't understand why he would continue to live with someone like Kaito. It sounded cocky, but I believed that Len would be much better off with me...

The sun had now set and it had gotten considerably colder. I glanced out into the city-lit sky, blowing warm air onto my hands before heading back into my apartment, my heart racing and tears making their way out of my eyes once again.


	12. Chapter 12

_I am very sorry for the very late update! I have been so stressed with school and drowsy with this new medication I'm on that I just haven't found time for writing. :c But, here is Chapter 12, after many months of waiting...Enjoy~_

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><p>A pain shot through the side of my face as I stood there motionless, unable to speak or even think clearly. I wanted to talk, but my voice was stuck in my throat; I wanted to understand what was going on but my mind was just too overwhelmed. It took a minute for me to realize what had just happened: Kaito had hit me. I raised my hand to my cheek to feel the spot where it burned with pain and I could feel a bruise forming there already. Kaito stood across from me, my phone in his left hand and his right hand still suspended in mid-air from the motion of hitting me. His face had turned bright red out of rage and he gazed angrily at me with his narrow, navy blue eyes. My knees started quivering in fear when I realized how pissed off he was.<p>

"Kaito..." I whimpered, choking on my words. He continued to gaze at me with the same angry expression, his eyes locked on contact with mine.

"How could you do this to me?"

"D-do what?" I stuttered, choking back tears.

"You're cheating on me again, goddammit!"

"N-no, I'm not."

"Then explain to me why you were talking to this _Piko _guy," Kaito said sternly, straining his voice as he spoke Piko's name.

"W-we were just clearing up some issues so nothing would happen again! What's wrong with you lately, Kaito?"

"What do you mean 'what's wrong with me?'"

"Ever since you've stopped travelling around, you've just become a real jerk."

"Says the guy who cheats on his partner."

"Seriously, Kaito, have you not noticed how your behaviour's changed?" By now, I was fuming and tears were threatening to escape my eyes at any second.

"Wh-what... no, I don't think..." My question had struck Kaito speechless. Had it really taken this long for him to notice anything?

"I'm leaving for a while, don't try to come and find me." I'd made this decision in a split second and just realized how stupid it could be, but I didn't care.

Before Kaito could say another word, I pushed past him with all my strength and stormed through the bathroom door. "Hey!" I heard Kaito shout, but by that time I had already sprinted across the kitchen and reached the little end table by the main door where I kept little necessities like my keys, spare change and my wallet... _Just what I need._

Grabbing my wallet swiftly before Kaito could see what I was doing, I burst the door of my apartment open and slammed it back shut without a word. And then I ran.

Before I knew it, I was sprinting down the street with no idea where exactly I was going. I had to get away from Kaito no matter where I ended up and I couldn't believe that I hadn't had the courage to do this before, that it was just this easy to get away from him.

Images of the street and people passing me were all blurs as I sprinted past them. I didn't take time to notice the fact that I'd forgotten a jacket and my exposed skin was now numb from the cold of the evening or that I probably looked like a maniac running down the street at full speed, almost shoving past people. A thought in the back of my head told me that what I was doing was stupid, immature, ridiculous, but my instincts told me otherwise; I wasn't paying attention to where I was going but I knew I just _had _to go wherever I was headed.

Several minutes later, I had to stop to catch my breath when I finally noticed my surroundings. Bent over panting, I realized that I'd been here before many times during those few weeks when Kaito was away.

This neighbourhood was all too familiar.

Why the _hell _had I dragged myself here, out of all places? Still panting, I placed my sweaty forehead into the palm of my hand and let out an annoyed sigh.

"I'm really stupid, aren't I?" I muttered to myself with a smirk on my face, attracting the looks from some people passing by. Chuckling to myself nervously, I resumed heading in the direction of the place where I'd led myself...

Next thing I knew, I was standing in the front entrance of _his _apartment complex, anxious to press the button that would page _his _apartment. _Oh god, oh god, I can't do this..._

I took a deep breath as my finger hovered next to the button, shaking.

_What if he's mad at me? Or maybe he's afraid to face me right now? What if he won't let me in...?_

It took me a minute to realize I'd just pressed the button. Oh no. I hadn't planned out how I was going to approach this...

"Hello?" I heard from the speaker in front of me. The voice sounded weak, but I couldn't be sure over the bad quality of the speaker.

"Uh...um..." I cleared my throat. "P-piko? It's..."

"Len?"

"Um, yeah."

"Oh, good, you're safe..." he sighed at the other end. "Come in." The door leading up the steps opened up and I rushed toward them, racing up two stairs at a time. I couldn't believe I was actually doing this, but my instincts had led me here, so I had to be here for some reason. Plus, Piko had agreed to let me in without hesitating at all, which must have been a good sign. His apartment was three flights up, and by the time I'd reached the third floor I was out of breath again and had to pause for a minute before heading toward my destination... By the time I approached the door, I was almost shaking in fear, my legs wobbly and feeling like jello.

Standing in front of the door, I flattened out my hair with a quick brush of my hand and straightened out my clothes which were messily arranged from running all the way here. With a final brush of my sweaty forehead with the back of my left hand, I placed the right up to the door and knocked firmly three times.

I was greeted almost immediately by the door swinging open at a speed I never thought possible.

"Len!" Piko leaped out of the doorway and wrapped his arms around my torso. I hesitated at first but eventually gave in to his hug, realizing that this night was already screwed up enough and this wouldn't make a difference.

"Let's go in," Piko said, separating our hug and leading me into his apartment. I didn't want to admit it, but I'd honestly missed spending time here...maybe because my own place was filled with so many bad memories...

"Do you want some tea?"

"Uh...sure, thanks." I took a seat on Piko's couch since I was exhausted from my run here and it was the comfiest piece of furniture in sight. Piko was busy making tea and whatever he had on TV was some stupid, cheesy drama so I decided to give myself a few minutes to think to myself.

I was feeling a mix of emotions, but the strongest was worry. I couldn't care less about what Kaito would do to me if he found me since I'd been through it all but I was worried about what he'd do to Piko. Even the way he'd spoken on the phone to Piko was threatening enough to make _me _frightened; I definitely couldn't imagine how he had felt after that.

My head was starting to hurt from thinking too much and I was relieved when I saw Piko walk out of his kitchen with two teacups in his hands.

"Thanks," I said when he handed me one. He responded with a smile but I noticed something different about his eyes: they seemed a lot sadder than usual and were slightly bloodshot. I pondered the thought only for a minute before coming to the conclusion that he was probably crying before I came over; after all, I definitely would have in the same situation.

After Piko took a seat next to me, we started talking. I told him about the hard times I'd gone through with Kaito in the past two months and he talked about how much he'd missed me, as well as some other random chitchat. Our conversation moved from one topic to the next as we both lost track of time, and when I finally looked at the clock it was nearly 11 PM.

"Oh god, it's really late," I said, interrupting our conversation. "I should get going..."

"Get going where? Do you even have a place to go this late?" Piko laughed.

"Well, not really..." I hadn't even thought of that before speaking up. I guess the 'I should get going' was more instinctive and less meaningful than I thought.

"Then you're staying here for tonight."

"Okay," I chuckled.

After some more useless chitchat, I felt a wall of drowsiness hit me hard. I didn't know whether I was tired from running here or I was mentally unstable or a combination of the two, but whatever it was, it sure put a bunch of holes in my memory because the next thing I remember was laying in Piko's bed. With him straddling me.

_Oh god, oh god, why am I doing this?_

I felt Piko's lips against mine, forming a kiss that made him let out a moan. I couldn't resist that sound no matter how hard I tried and all I could do was grab the back of his head and pull him in closer. He responded by biting my bottom lip softly and our kiss soon became a tangle of tongues and saliva. God, I'd missed this so much no matter how much I regretted it afterwards every time. I was so tired and sore from the previous events that day that I wasn't thinking straight and somehow I'd ended up in this position, shirtless and panting like a dog, but I didn't even care right now.

Piko's breathing sped up and became heavier, clearly indicating that he wanted more. My fingers on one hand made their way under his shirt and up his delicate stomach, tracing every inch of skin I could reach while my other hand ran through his silky hair. I found Piko's tenderness to be extremely more arousing than Kaito's rough ways...

_Stupid, stop thinking of him!_

Shaking all thoughts of Kaito from my head, I moved my hand down from Piko's abdomen and rested it as the hem of his boxers. Hesitating and waiting for his permission, I was surprised when he flinched his hips forward so suddenly in an effort to tell me that I had the green light. I slowly made my way past the fabric and clenched my fingers around him, hearing a very satisfying moan escape Piko's lips as I felt him stiffen in my hand. As his breathing sped up even more, I felt his handing trailing around my body before slipping into my own boxers, causing a feeling of arousal that I hadn't felt in what seemed like forever.

We soon had to break our kiss since neither of us would have been able to hold our breaths long enough at the rate we were now breathing. Piko buried his face into my shoulder so all I could hear were his rapid breaths and occasional moans and god, it was exciting; even as my sore body starting becoming painful, I did not feel like stopping what I was doing anytime soon.

"Len...I'm gonna..." Piko said in between deep breaths just as I started feeling the high of this whole ordeal approaching.

"Me...too..."

My memory must have gone blank after that moment since all I could remember was a haze of pleasure, pain and regret.


	13. Chapter 13

_Short chapter is short. ;_;_

* * *

><p>I awoke in a haze the next morning. My bed had never felt so comfy, so soft, and I couldn't remember the last time I felt a nice, quiet breeze from a window in my room since all I normally got was clouds of traffic pollution. The crisp, morning air filled my lungs and I took a few relaxing breaths, enjoying this rare moment. It wasn't until I gained the strength to open my eyes and see my surroundings that I asked myself the question I'd had to ask way too many times: 'where am I?'<p>

On top of that, I realized how disgusting I felt. I clearly hadn't showered since I could _feel_ the heaviness of grease in my hair and my mouth felt sticky and tasted stale, indicating that I hadn't brushed my teeth the night before. Every muscle in my body ached as well, like I had run a marathon. It wasn't until I felt that somebody was pressed up against my back and had their arms wrapped around my waist that the memories came flooding in. Memories about Kaito. And Piko. Last night.

_Shit._

I had to get out of there. Every moment that I spent here I was just hurting myself. I carefully started prying Piko's hands off of me, making sure not to wake him, and slowly rolled off the bed. I grabbed all my clothes (which took a while because they were scattered around the room) and tiptoed out of the bedroom, dressing myself on the way.

I opened the door of Piko's apartment, glad that I'd managed to get out of there without waking him up, when I was greeted by the familiar face of my best friend, Rin, standing there with her arm raised up, like she was about to knock on the door.

"Len? What are you doing here?" she exclaimed with the biggest smile on her face. Before I could mutter a sound, she interrupted, "Oh, I knew you and Piko would become good friends when you two first met."

Gosh, I loved Rin so much but she could be such a dumb blonde sometimes. Any other person would take one look at my appearance and know exactly what I was running from.

"Um, yeah..." I muttered. "Listen, Rin, I've gotta get going. And you should too, Piko's, uh, still asleep..."

"He's still asleep? Then what are you doing-" Rin paused as her eyes scanned me up and down, finally noticing my messy bedhead, hickeys on my neck, the way my clothes looked like they were hurriedly put on, and the look of shame and regret in my eyes. Her eyes went wider than I'd ever seen them before and she stood there speechless with her mouth gaping wide open.

"I'm sorry, Rin, but I've really got to-"  
>"Len, you slut!" Rin shouted as I felt the palm of her hand come in contact with my face. "I didn't introduce you two for it to end up like this!"<p>

"It's a lot more complicated than that..." I said, rubbing my sore cheek. God, what was it with people slapping me?

"What about Kaito? Does he know about this?!"

"Rin, I'll explain later, but right now I really have to go. Tell Piko I'm sorry." Rin opened her mouth to speak, but I couldn't hear what she had to say as I ran down the hallway.

...

_Piko was shocked to wake up to the sight of Rin walking into his bedroom and the lack of Len sleeping beside him._

"_Rin? What are you doing here? Where's Len?"_

"_I just ran into him pulling a dine and dash on you. I don't know where he went after that."_

"_Ugh..." Piko buried his face into his pillow. He never should've let Len into his bedroom last night, fully aware that anything they did would just put Len into more trouble._

"_So what's going on between you two?" Rin said as Piko felt the weight of her sitting down on the end of his bed. "Last I heard Len was still with Kaito. I didn't expect you two to end up like this either."_

_Piko sighed. How was he supposed to explain this?_

"_Well..." he started, rolling onto his back so he could face Rin. "I'm not sure of all the details but I guess Kaito was away all the time and Len was lonely..."_

"_So he basically relied on you to relieve built-up sexual frustration?"_

"_Yeah...I guess so. I don't think their relationship was 100% healthy before I came along but I feel like I just made everything worse." Piko sighed again, covering his face with both hands. "I just feel bad for everything I've done..."_

"_Maybe you should stop seeing him all together," Rin said as she placed a hand on top of Piko's knee with a sad smile. "It sounds like he's just causing you and himself a lot of misery."_

"_Maybe you're right..."_


	14. Chapter 14

I stormed out of the apartment building and ran for a while until I realized that I had nowhere to go. I couldn't just head back to my apartment in fear of running into Kaito and I sure as hell couldn't go back to Piko's after running away from him. It wasn't like I had any other friends to go to besides Rin but she was obviously mad at me as well.

_I need to sit down..._

I headed toward a nearby staircase that led to an underground train station, hoping I could at least sit down somewhere or wash my face in the bathroom.

Pushing through crowds of people, I couldn't see any sign of a bench or place to sit so I edged my way toward the bathroom. Out of all the times throughout the day, stupid me had to choose rush hour to run through the city.

Luckily, the bathroom wasn't crowded. I splashed water over my face in the sink in search of some sort of refreshment but it wasn't very effective. _Sigh._ I made my way to a stall, locked the door and sat down on the toilet, not giving a damn how dirty it must be.

What had happened to my life? In less than a year, I'd cheated on my boyfriend, turned him into an angry psycho and been kicked out of my own apartment because of it. Now, here I was, sitting on a filthy public toilet, crying, with my hands folded underneath my chin like I was in some sort of prayer that wouldn't do me any good. I shouldn't have cheated on Kaito. If that one stupid decision hadn't happened, I wouldn't be in this mess; I wouldn't have sent Kaito into an ongoing fit of rage and I wouldn't have broken two different man's hearts. But it was too late. The damage was done.

The reality of my situation had finally set in. All of my belongings excluding my wallet and cell phone were still in my apartment, which I wouldn't dare go back to. All I had in my wallet was my debit card, and I had no idea how much money I had left in my account. Kaito had been my primary source of income. My cell phone only had a limited battery life and I had no way to charge it if I actually needed to use it in the future. I honestly had no idea what I was supposed to do now.

...

_Piko woke up the next morning, feeling a hell of a lot better than the previous day. Yesterday had been stressful beyond belief, having to deal with Len running out on him once again, but luckily he had Rin around to help him brighten his mood and get him through the day._

_Speaking of Rin, Piko turned his head to the right to see her sleeping like a doll beside him. She kind of looked like Len, Piko thought, but soon erased that from his head. He pondered for a moment whether or not sleeping with Rin was a smart decision but ultimately decided that she couldn't possibly hurt him the way Len had, and he let out a little sigh of relief._

_This was the right decision, he thought as he ran his fingers through her medium-length blonde hair and down her bare shoulder._

_..._

I ultimately decided to see how long my debit card would last me if I stayed in a cheap hotel. I lasted three days, and probably would have been able to afford one or two more nights but my little stay was interrupted by a phone call from none other than Kaito himself. Previous me wouldn't have answered the phone but in my delusional state I was kind of curious as to what he could possibly have to say.

Now here I was, standing outside my apartment, regretting my decision to agree to Kaito's pleas for me to come over because he had "something important to tell me".

_Goddamn._

I finally decided to go into the apartment, not bothering to knock.

The apartment looked the same as the last time I left it. I almost began reminiscing in memories but was interrupted by the sight of Kaito sitting at the kitchen table, staring at me with his hands folded in front of his chin.

"You look terrible," he muttered.

"I could say the same to you." He looked like he hadn't slept in days and his eyes were bloodshot; from what, I'm not really sure.

I sat down across from Kaito at the table, which was scattered with important-looking papers.

"I'm transferring the lease to the apartment over to you," Kaito said. "I suggest you start looking for a job if you want to stay here."

"W-what? Why? What happened?"

"I'm leaving. I was offered a record deal overseas and I think I'm ready to get out of this environment."  
>I don't know why I felt heartbroken at that moment. Kaito had hurt me way too many times before for me to even care what he did anymore, but for some reason, the news of him leaving hurt me. He couldn't just leave so suddenly. It was like he was just running away from his problems and that made me angry...until I realized I'd been doing the same thing up until today.<p>

A simple "okay" was all I could say as I directed my eyes toward my feet.

"I'm still here for tonight while I pack and finish up some paperwork. I don't really care if you stay here with me or not while I'm getting ready."

"Okay."

He stood up from his chair, and I instinctively flinched in fear of him hitting me again. Instead, he ended up standing behind my own chair, his hands resting lightly on my shoulders.

"You're not going to believe me but I think I'm going to miss you," he said as he placed his chin on top of my head.

"Okay."

That night, I ended up staying at the apartment. I had nowhere else to go and my mind was already too distracted to be afraid of Kaito. After showering and putting on a fresh change of pyjamas, I collapsed on the side of the bed I always used to sleep on. I didn't even care if Kaito joined me on the bed later on. All I wanted was a good night's sleep in a place that was familiar to me.

The next morning, Kaito wasn't beside me but the blankets were ruffled and the mattress was warm, as if he'd woken up just a few minutes ago.

He was in the kitchen, sipping on a coffee. There was a full suitcase beside him and the papers on the table were now piled neatly.

"Are you leaving soon?"

"Mhmm," he nodded, drinking his last mouthful of coffee. "In a few minutes."

There was an awkward silence as I walked over to the counter and fumbled with the coffee maker to make a drink of my own. I looked to my side to see Kaito resting one arm on the counter and gazing at me with his dark, navy eyes.

"What?"

"Nothing."

I went back to making my coffee but shortly after I felt a pair of arms around my chest.

"I really am going to miss you," I heard Kaito say into my ear.

"I know," I sighed out of annoyance. "You've said that already."

"Hmm." Kaito pulled me closer to him and then turned me around so I was facing now. "I think I'll just head out now." He placed his hand underneath my chin and brought our lips together briefly before grabbing his suitcase and heading out the door in silence.

I didn't protest; I didn't mutter a single word; all I could do was watch Kaito walk through the door and out of my sight as I reminisced in our last touch, our last kiss, our last goodbye.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, this is it. I wasn't really sure how else to end the story, but I needed to at some point because I have no free time left anymore. It's been fun writing it, though I may redo the first few chapters in the future. <strong>

**Thanks for enjoying. :)**


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